Tuesday, December 18, 2007

We Are the Sprocket Holes vol. 11

more movie ratings;

Grindhouse - it's best if we break it down;

the Fake Trailers - 10/10: just amazing. each one nailed their respective genre, several of which could easily co-exist alongside the genuine articles. i would watch every single one of these if they existed (fingers crosssssed). Robert Rodriquez' Machete and Eli Roth's Thanksgiving were the clear cut favorites (even went out and bought a sweet-ass Machete poster the next day. a Thanksgiving poster was a gift from Eve-Uh. sthmoochesth for u), but Edgar Wright's Don't and Robert Cummings' Werewolf Women of the SS look just as entertaining (the later mostly due to a so nonsensical it's inspired cameo by Nicolas Cage as Fu Manchu and Sheri Moon looking like Heidi Klum crossed with Myra Hindley).

Planet Terror - 7.5/10: a solid, fast paced action-horror, with great special fx and memorable characters. the plot is meaningless and mostly inane, but everyone looks like they're having a blast while also taking the material seriously. Josh Brolin was creepy as hell, and this is the hottest Rose McGowan has been since Doom Generation. all in all a fun little number.

Death Proof - 1/10: GODFUCKINGDAMNITNO. what an annoying, obnoxious piece of shit this thing was. Kurt Russel starts out well enough, but he's reduced to a whimpering pussy by the film's end. the rest of the cast is mostly female and mostly retarded. i hated every single one of these women, thus didn't not want to see them get retribution. These are not steely, iron willed women, but infuriatingly macho cunts who never shut the fuck up about how bad-ass they are. it's lame when guys act like that and fucking dumb as a bag of this-movie when women act like that. the film is basically 2 decent action scenes with meaningless hunks of rambling exposition that act more as excitement-anchors than vehicles for plot or character development. one of the worst movies i've ever seen, and definitely the worst film Tarantino has ever made.

No comments: