Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Just Needed to Share vol. 29

i'd like to talk about the most fun i've ever had in a mosh pit.

I was 16 years old at Ground Zero in Bellmore. I can't remember what the show was. I was in the pit with 3 really cute girls.

just me and 3 really cute girls.

they jumped, shoved, pawed, essentially manhandled me. I did my share of "oh you too" shoves, but i behaved myself otherwise. I just enjoyed the scenario.... a lot.

So we all had fun.

afterward, i get accosted by one of the people we were hanging out with.. this Rocky Dennis looking clownshoes, who made it a point throughout the day to show off to the very same group of girls by acting all "wacky" and "silly"... you know the type; the needlessly extroverted loudmouth goon who acts over-the-top and goofy at shows or bars whenever he feels too much attention is being placed on .... you know... THE BANDS. He's determined to make you talk about his antics when the night is over, not the music. Selfish, Needy, Narcissistic, and most importantly UNFUNNY. not intelligent/insightful enough to be genuinely comedic, and not imaginative enough to be anti-comedy. He's just a fucking manboy attention-whore.

Anyway, this asshouse was doing his asshouse thing all day; namely being a routinely obnoxious cancer germ... and all the while i muster up all the disgust i have in my perpetually blackened and broken 16 year old heart, moving it to my face, looking how i know we all feel whenever one of this shit-eating-rictus-grins tries to take command of the room. I'm amazed my face wasn't frozen forever in a Lawrence Tierney grimace. beyond amusing pity, These girls were not interested in this microwave accident of a human being, but they were too nice to tell him what a fucking zero he was, and he'd probably be better to us if he went ahead and deep-throated the exhaust pipe of a running short bus. I know that what they were thinking... word for word.

Anyway, i was my usual "staring through the type of my eyelids while hugging a wall" self, and didn't really converse with these girls. I was still pining about you-know-who, and just wanted to hear some tunes, hang out with my friends, and whatever. So the show was going on, and by some divine miracle, i found myself in the pit, being circled by three of the ladies Michael Berryman Jr. attempted to win over earlier. before i knew it, i was being passed around like a keg (if only half-way so... nyeah).

So for a beautiful ten minutes, i didn't care about school or you-know-who or that joy-raping wafflehead. I was 16 years old and i was being playfully manhandled by 3 cute girls at a hardcore show.

Like i said... i got my share of shoves in, but i behaved myself... no groping, no hitting... i literally did everything in my power not to spoil what very well could be the most perfect moment in my life up to that point. "I'll never be this happy again!!" played in my head in a whiny, Milhouse Van Houtten voice.

So yeah, after the set was over, we were all smiling. I don't smile very often, and even this case i only had a little smirk, but in my head i was jumping up and down, squeeing like Anime Jailbait.

Then the moment was ruined by Mongo McTamponSocket.

"You were HITTING GIRLS! you're a jerk! how could you do that to GIRLS!"

I think i just smiled my best Sabretooth "fuck you, Logan" smile... as if i was flashing the fangs that would nip at his jugular while my new harem beats and rapes him with large tree-branches.

Guys are Cunts.

Just needed to share.

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