Thursday, July 29, 2010

NERRRRRRRRRRD!!!! vol. 24

THOR trailer

so i take back what i said about sitting this one out. i mean, who ever thought they'd see the fucking Destroyer in a live-action movie?



now Captain America, please.

Does God have a crush on us? vol. 1

Guillermo Del Toro Finally Moving Ahead With His MOUNTAINS OF MADNESS

by Todd Brown, July 29, 2010 10:31 AM


If, as it appeared during Comic Con, it had turned out that Guillermo Del Toro had left The Hobbit to direct a film based on Disney's Haunted Mansion theme park ride, I was going to be mighty pissed. Yes, he's still planning on doing the ride film but it turns out that's not the project that pulled Del Toro away. No, instead it's one that fans have been waiting for for years now.

An adaptation of HP Lovecraft's At The Mountains Of Madness has long been on the docket for Del Toro, the project becoming a sort of Holy Grail for fans. But, realistically speaking, as much as the core fans wanted this it was also such a niche project and so expensive that it would probably never happen unless Del Toro drummed up some serious outside support.

Well, how about James Cameron?

At the Mountains of Madness is coming. It's Del Toro's next. It'll be in 3D. And James Cameron is producing. Which means both that this film will have the best that technology can bring on the 3D front and also that it will have the financial clout that Del Toro should be left alone to do what he wants. Very nice.


----------------------------------------

i'm almost embarrassed to tell you this, but i just came really REALLY hard. i mean like a Chloe-orgasm (fellow porn-pervs know who i'm talking about); shivering, full body convulsing, eyes rolling into the back of my head, clutching the air and slamming my fist into the bed/desk/massage table/kitchen counter/equestrian pillar, bellowing obscenities with a Deicide cadence, and begging to be further fuck-pummeled into a howling euphoria bordering on anatomical catastrophe and respiratory paralysis.

so yeah... pretty psyched.

CHUD's own Del Toro cohort, Nick Nunziata, had a few words on the announcement

"This is the big one. The mother lode, both for Guillermo and his die hard fans and fans of H.P. Lovecraft in general. This is a massive, dark, weird, and dense project and it shows incredible faith in the filmmakers for a studio to finally allow it to be. Considering that Guillermo dabbled in Lovecraftian beasties in the Hellboy flicks and they were colossal and delightful just imagine what he's going to do with the real things. I'm so glad I can finally discuss this publicly with folks. It's great to see filmmakers using their clout and passion in such a way that allows stuff to make it through the system in an era where it's easy to lose hope."

PS: get these guys to do the music;

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Awwwww Yeah vol. the 13th part 7868758994898584: Jason Makes You Blow Him First


i'd suck her punch.

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 44

"Clean" Movie Maven Arrested For Teen Sex

Utah Man Who Sold R-Rated Films Shorn Of Skin Arrested For Sex With 14-Year-Old Girls


Image


(CBS) A Utah retailer of family-friendly tapes and DVDs - Hollywood films with the "dirty parts" cut out of them - has been arrested for trading sex with two 14-year-old girls.

Orem police say Flix Club owner Daniel Dean Thompson, 31, and Issac Lifferth, 24, were booked into the Utah County jail on charges of sexual abuse and unlawful sexual activity with a 14-year-old.

CBS Station KUTV in Salt Lake City reports that the shocking discovery came when a mother found a $20 bill in her daughter’s room last week and questioned her about where the money came from.

The girl confessed that she and a friend had been paid for sexual favors by an older male.

Lifferth was additionally charged with patronizing a prostitute and was also in possession of a prescription drug medication without a prescription.

Thompson's Flix Club was one of several Utah-based video outlets that traded in edited versions of R- and PG-13-rated films, catering to clientele who wanted to watch hit movies without nudity, sex, language or graphic violence.

Such video editing operations came under the gun of Hollywood studios and the Directors Guild of America.

In a case brought by the DGA, a federal judge ruled in 2006 that editing out material (such as Kate Winslet's bare breasts in "Titanic") violated copyright laws. The decision was against a Utah company called Clean Flicks.

Thompson, who was a franchise operator for Clean Flicks, opened Flix Club last year, similarly trading in edited videos but claiming that such editing was for "educational use."

Threats of lawsuits from the Hollywood studios forced him to agree to shut down on December 31.

NERRRRRRRRRRD! vol. 23


Alan Moore Celebrates a Real Person in ‘Unearthing’ - NYTimes.com

Monday, July 26, 2010

NERRRRRRRRRRRD!!!!!!! vol. 22

the new JUDGE DREDD

so this fuck-mountain of bad-ass...



is going to be played by this homo-rape?;



... fuck you.

fuck you fuck you fuck you.

it's bad enough Wolverine has been reduced to a romance novel cover-boy, now Judge Dredd?

fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you.

also fuck you.

ps. they already made an awesome Judge Dredd movie. it's called ROBOCOP, you stupid cunts.

Saturday, July 24, 2010

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 155

Jake West Presents The Definitive Guide To The VIDEO NASTIES

by Todd Brown, July 24, 2010 2:43 AM


In the early 1980s, fearing that the morality of British youth was being corrupted by the explosion of ultraviolent film on home video, British authorities passed a sweeping new law on video content. It outright banned a total of seventy two films - though some would later be allowed on appeal - creating what ironically became the definitive list of extreme cinema for many collectors. These were the so-called Video Nasties.

In an age where everything you could possibly imagine is available for free on the internet the idea of controlling access to these titles seems sort of quaint but back in the day, if you were in the UK and wanted to see Cannibal Holocaust or I Spit On Your Grave the only way to do it was via illicit tape trading and an underground network of collectors.

And now, looking back on that era is Doghouse and Evil Aliens director Jake West, who is about to release via his Nucleus Films label, a three disc DVD set titled Video Nasties: The Definitive Guide. Disc one focuses on the titles that were banned and remained banned. Disc two focuses on the titles initially banned and then accepted. Disc three contains West's brand new documentary about the era, Video Nasties: Moral Panic, Censorship and Videotape. Here's the full announcement:

Video Nasties: The Definitive Guide - out on DVD in Oct 2010

Prepare to be corrupted and depraved once more as Nucleus Films releases the definitive guide to the Video Nasties phenomenon - one of the most extraordinary and scandalous eras in the history of British film.

For the first time ever on DVD, all 72 films that fell foul of the Director of Public Prosecutions are featured with specially filmed intros for each title in a lavish three-disc collector's edition box-set, alongside a brand new documentary - VIDEO NASTIES: MORAL PANIC, CENSORSHIP AND VIDEOTAPE, directed by Jake ('Doghouse') West.

Producer Marc Morris, co-author of 'Art of the Nasty' and 'Shock Horror: Astounding Artwork from the Video Nasty Era' comments: "Hopefully, every true movie fan will want this in their collection"..

Disc One presents the 39 titles which were successfully prosecuted in UK courts and deemed liable to deprave and corrupt. These included: 'Absurd', 'Cannibal Holocaust', 'The Driller Killer', 'I Spit on Your Grave', 'Nightmares in a Damaged Brain', 'Snuff' & 'Zombie Flesh-Eaters'.

Disc Two presents the 33 titles that were initially banned, but then subsequently acquitted and removed from the DPP's list. These included:
'Death Trap', 'Deep River Savages', 'The Evil Dead', 'Human Experiments', 'The Toolbox Murders' & Zombie Creeping Flesh

Both discs can be viewed either as a non-stop trailer show, or with newly-filmed introductions from a wide range of acclaimed media academics and notable genre journalists. Each disc is preceded by a brief introduction by cult horror presenter Emily Booth.

Disc Three This era-defining documentary features interviews with filmmakers Ruggero Deodato ('Cannibal Holocaust') Neil Marshall ('The Descent', 'Doomsday'), Christopher Smith ('Severance', 'Black Death') and MP Graham Bright as well as rare archive footage featuring James Ferman (director of the BBFC 1975-1999) & Mary Whitehouse. Taking in the explosion of home video, the erosion of civil liberties, the introduction of draconian censorship measures, hysterical press campaigns and the birth of many careers born in blood and videotape, West's documentary also reflects on the influence this peculiar era still exerts on us today.

Extras include a gallery of original video company idents and extensive gallery of lurid cover art for every video nasty.

Check the trailer for West's doc below!


We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 154

Micro-views;



INCEPTION - 9/10;

If this turned your brain to jelly, than it was already half-purred. Everything that could be written about Nolan's Metaphysical Heist Film has been written, so i'll just say yeah, it's pretty friggin great. Every time you think it's gonna go overboard, it remains grounded and focused. for my money though, Marion Cotillard really owned this thing. one of the most compelling and complicated movie villains of the last 10 years. oh yeah and Tom Hardy of Bronson.



PREDATOR 3: PREDATORS 1: no/10

A bunch of dangerous people from around the world are dropped into an intergalactic game reserve where they are being hunted by (STHPOILER) Predators.

You know which ones will live, which ones will die, and which ones "aren't what they seem" before any of them open their mouths to read you the script (which is what much of the movie's dialogue felt like), so there is no real tension. There's gore, but its weak video game CGI gore. there are Predadogs (also CG), which while not a bad idea, are not visually interesting. The Predators do look pretty bad-ass, especially the Super-Predator, but there's not enough of them. but upon further reflection, they were sub-impressive in their height. in the original film, the monstar towered over Ahnuld. in this one, they're at eye level with Adrian "Piansthst" Brody. The duel between a Predator and the Yakuza with a Samurai Sword is the high point. The entire last act just copies random beats from the last act of the first film, only without the build-ups, so again there's no excitement.

in short; it wasn't terrible, but it also wasn't necessary. there is a fine line between paying homage and blatant cloning, and this movie alternates skirting the line with tap dancing on the latter side. The movie seems to exist for the sole reason of 20th Century Fox needing to pump out a quick franchise picture for the summer season, and since they have no comic book properties ready for release, they just meat-grinded out another Predator movie with only a quick cash grab in mind. other people seem to be giving it a pass, but i think that's only because they're holding it up against those execrable Aliens vs. Predator movies. you put this next to the first 2 Predator movies, and it will kill itself just to make sure those two don't hurt it.



JENNIFER'S BODY - who/cares

didn't hate this nearly as much as the rest of the world, but it still got on my nerves. I liked the idea, and the ladies are lovely and act as convincingly as they can, and everyone involved seems like they're having a good time. It's just a touch overwritten and unsure of itself. I dunno... there's some decent ideas here.. just needs more work.



PARASOMNIA - 8.5/10

An interesting, original little horror film, with tons of great imagery and a few really strong ideas. The protagonist was a fucking moron, but that was the point. the girl is a heartbreaker, and the villain is pretty god damn intimidating. a VERY strong third act saves it from the occasional drags.



BIG FAN - 8/10

a boring loner whose only source of joy and power comes from late night phone calls to the local sports radio show, where he launches into pre-written tirades about his favorite and least favorite football teams. very cool black comedy that never takes itself too seriously or tries to hard to go for shock value. its been compared to Taxi Driver, but really its more like King of Comedy. only a little sad and mostly very amusing, never turning into generic stalker/slasher fare.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Not that I'm Bitter or anything vol. 3

Myspace really needs a "cable cord hang ten" category on their blog. that's how i feel. like that stupid scene in that stupid movie based on a book i didn't realize was stupid till i was out of college. you know what i'm talking about, crazy cakes. ps the way i feel sounds like this.

so yeah, we're back to that. the more things change, the more ass they suck.

week was odd. heavy dreams. perpetual blow offs. took a while, but it just hit me. all of it. at once. manifested into a boil on my knee. been draining for a few days. another tablespoon of pus. that about sums it all up i guess. tribute shows next week. maybe that has something to do with it.

Why do i agree to do things? why should i care if someone is forlorn at my absence? what good does my presence do anyway? i am literally bringing nothing to the table. and i can't drink because i'm on anti-biotics. little aquamarine capsules.

Started writing some short piece. it was concocted in a total Barton Fink esque fervor. all that was missing was John Goodman saying "Heil Hitler" while shooting someone in the face. also i didn't get yelled at by a giant Jew. and unfortunately, no women were murdered. so really it was nothing like Barton Fink. brroing.

started work. library. it's decent enough. i don't dread it, so that's nice. the occasional MILF. the occasional mostly-illegal page girl. books and DVDs. reasonably quiet. kids don't shut up. parents don't shut them up. meh.. least they're reading. they've already got one up on this Jessi Slaughter character.

They all ask me what i wanna do, cause i can't possibly wanna do this. I think i am doing what i want, i just don't get paid for it, so GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME GIMME.

My new favorite bands are COFFINWORM, BROBDINGNAGIAN, and THE KILIMANJARO DARKJAZZ ENSEMBLE. . checked out this other clown called "DR. STEEL". total ass-maggot. i saw one of his gay PSAs on this otherwise bad-ass Public Access show. total superficial (emphasis on the "fist" n'yeah) wannabe "steampunk" bullshit. apparently "steampunk" now means shamelessly copying Tom Waits and the weaker Mike Patton projects while pretending to be an Inspector Gadget villain.... as long as you wear kooky goggles while doing it. yippee.

enjoy those brain slushies, FroBros.

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 153

Fantasia 2010: Subversive Serbia Spotlight - New Stills: Life and Death of a Porno Gang, A Holy Place, and T.T. Syndrome


Feature Films : Subversive Serbia

Subversive SerbiaSerbia’s terrifying recent history has birthed a confrontational new generation of filmmakers who are using the medium to express their wounded psyches in ways the Western World can barely get its head around. Our spotlight, which we are calling SUBVERSIVE SERBIA showcases the key entries in this intelligently transgressive and politically charged filmmaking scene. We’re also going to showcase a string of retro Serbian genre films never before screened here, programmed in association with Dejan Ognjanovic and the Belgrade Cinematheque.

Beyond the screenings, Mr Ognjanovic will be presenting a multimedia presentation and panel discussion - AN INTRODUCTION TO SERBIAN HORROR CINEMA – where he will be joined by the makers of many of the films showcased in our spotlight.

Your eyes are about to be opened. Wide.

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Brainmares vol. the 13th part 7654893029854856783: Jason Backtraces Your Emails

the bar around the corner from my house on St. Patrick's day. the right side of the bar has been sealed off with fiber glass bricks. It's damp and smoky, like an opium den. copious amounts of beautiful women, all with dark hair and near vampire white skin, drunkenly stumble around the fog. One of them resembles a young Angelina Jolie (when she was still mega shapely). She falls next to me while trying to get into a lawn chair, and i help her up. Nothing happens, because apprently she has dated my younger brother. I go outside. the parking lot has been converted into an extension of the bar; smoky, doors leading to bathrooms. a man who resembles an extra-hairy Danny DeVito is selling tapes of a comedian i swear i remember, but whose name escapes me. He won't tell me the comedian's name, but he tries to make a grand riddle out of it, by presenting me with a bunch of documents and receipts that are supposed to unlock the answer. I figure it out, and the comedian is revealed to be my 12th grade history teacher. Across the lot, a lame ass Improv group (is there any other kind?) is attempting to use comedy to get laid, but no one is biting. There jokes are about how handsome they are or something. no one cares.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Not that I'm bitter or anything vol. 2

an all purpose open letter to the you-know-what-you-dids out there;

You cum-fume huffing queerbaits. fuck your own fuck that you fucked out of your own fuck, you microwave accident cocktards. you pissbags of stupid. you megaphone cunt farts of uneducated opinions and sub-taste. i could rape the soul of all childhood joy and i still wouldn't be the toilet rimming suckjob you are every minute of your piece of dick life. You rectal abscess of always. You genital thief. Your cranium is God's upper decker, you clitoral anvil. Suck the fucking Suck sucking Fuck off and sodomize your mouth in the ass of its dick, you miscarriage basket. You bovine golden shower of perpetual contagion.

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this has nothing to do with anyone. i'm not even that mad, really. i'm just trying to marry the words/anger of David Mamet, Sam Kinison, and William Bennet. hope you enjoyed, and hope you put some of these insults to use.... maybe even create your own.

try it. you'll feel better.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol.43

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Steele Crazy After All These Years
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full EpisodesPolitical HumorTea Party


i seriously haven't laughed this hard at the Daily Show in a long time.

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 152

Full trailer for 'I Saw the Devil' [악마를 보았다]

by Andrew Mack, July 8, 2010 10:49 PM


Tell me it doesn't warm you heart to see Korean actor Choi Min-sik wielding a hammer again. I know, it's scary as hell, but for Korean cinema fans it is an image we should all be familiar with.

And so we have the trailer for Kim Ji-woon's thriller I Saw the Devil [악마를 보았다] and this just looks better and better. It helps when you have two powerhouse actors like Choi Min-sik and Lee Byung-hyun as your leading men.

Kyung-chul is a dangerous psychopath who kills for pleasure. He has committed infernal serial murders in diabolic ways that one cannot even imagine and his victims range from young women to even children. The police have chased him for a long time, but were unable to catch him. One day, Joo-yeon, daughter of a retired police chief becomes his prey and is found dead in a horrific state.

Her fiance Dae-hoon, a top secret agent, decides to track down the murderer himself. He promises himself that he will do everything in his power to take bloody vengeance against the killer, even if it means that he must become a monster himself to get this monstrous and inhumane killer.


Awwww Yeah vol. 12

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Double You, Tea F. vol. 105 (Dogbros!)

























































Dogbros!


















clearly that's breakfast...










yyyyeeaaah... i think i'll go ahead and sit that one out.