Sunday, January 30, 2011

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 179



a No-Wave Forest Gump. Weird and perverse, yet heart warming and inspiring.


while being respectful and mature when dealing with its subject matter; an S&M relationship, the film is almost too understanding... to the point where it becomes little more than another bland romance. by the third act it has completely abandoned the concepts it only ever teased to embrace, leaving us with something even the most vanilla of us would find underwhelming.

SINGAPORE SLING - boner/time:

... now THIS is how you do perversity. a gorgeously photographed eros-shattering wet fever dream that comes (and comes... and comes.... and comes) off the screen. it doesn't dare you to become aroused, it forces you. trust me... you've never seen anything like this. even if you have, you haven't.


a touch overlong, but there are some really amazing moments as far as visuals and technical aspects. really incredible camera work and cinematography and an OCD level of attention to detail. Some of the acting is a bit spotty when it comes to the more melodramatic parts, but the little girl was pretty damn convincing. It's not so much an "assault" like I Stand Alone or Irreversible, though it does have some rough moments... but they're more somber and defeating than brutal and confrontational. lotta naked ladies, too. and "Hamburger Lady" by Throbbing Gristle can be heard during some of the club scenes.


Comedic Gorerotica from the man behind BASKET CASE. Great for a party.

BEST WORST MOVIE - A Double Decker Bologna Sandwich! / Oh My Gaaaaaaaaaaaahd! :

The smile i had on my face while watching this had to be surgically removed. I first saw TROLL 2 on Cinemax when i was 11. It was the first bad movie i saw that i immediately recognized as a bad movie, and it was fantasterastic. This documentary, made by the actor who played Joshua in the film, serves as a retrospective, a reunion, and a love letter to one of the most memorable shit movies ever made. Watch TROLL 2 right now, because even though it's the worst movie ever made, its still better than whatever the hell is out in theaters right now.

DEAR MR. GACY - 8/10:

A dramatic retelling of the late Jason Moss' Last Victim, detailing his correspondence with several noted murderers, most notably John Wayne Gacy. William Forsythe plays Gacy with a grand attention to all of his layers; the politician, the pervert, the sadist, the businessman, and the "victim". the actor playing Moss also does well, mirroring the metamorphosis of his own psyche as he gets deeper into not only Gacy sordid world, but his own bleak prurience.

CLASH OF THE TITANS 2010 - fucking awful/awfully fucked:

from Ray Harryhausen to McFarlane Toys. and i like how every dude in the movie had long mangy hair/full unkempt beards and Perseus had a perfectly symmetrical to-the-skin buzzcut with just the right amount of stubble. they invented homosexuality, but this is no doubt the gayest thing to ever be attached to Greece.

RAMPAGE - 3/10:

Falling Down as re-imagined by Rockstar Games and Four Loko. thinks it's saying something deep about a "forgotten" segment of the population (aka young white video game addicts) when really it's just an empty fantasy about killing women cause they won't fuck you. it's totally the movie for people who thought Falling Down and Taxi Driver "sucked" because they had more going on than just random killing after random killing. i'm not opposed to that or anything, but don't try and think it says anything other than "oooo WAH-AH-AH-AH!". at least the Virgina Tech Killer wrote bad poetry and talked like Marlee Matlin.

Monday, January 24, 2011

POST 666

.....drafted by tissue before the bugs the BUGS can tatatatatatatatatatat Morse code like sexual assault on your twin sister... only she really can understand it.

....."just because i don't dress like Halloween doesn't mean you won't see me in your nightmares." scrape a fork lightly on the roof of your mouth. imagine its vaginal rinds.....

"?suoires a m'i ees uoy nac .era lla ew srueyov tahw swonk eh esuaceb dna flesmih rof seid rytram sisehtitna laer eht ...t'nsi ti msinataS ."

- anonymous proverd.

.....digging is soft acts on burn jobs. this might remind you of the last time you read the lunatic as religion and thought it somehow less than your frailty.

"Satanism it isn't... the real antithesis martyr dies for himself and because he knows what voyeurs we all are. can you see i'm a serious?"

- Proverb Anonymous.


Thursday, January 20, 2011

NERRRRRRD!!!! vol. 28

Press Release: Hathaway is Selina, Hardy is Bane

Well color me a little shocked.

not at the inclusion of Catwoman, who aside from the Joker and Batman himself is perhaps one of the first characters one thinks of when Batman is mentioned. plus the idea of wholesome Hathaway lashing the whip while clad head-too-toe in shiny black vinyl is very enticing. she played against type very well in Havoc, so i'm looking forward to what exactly the young lady will bring to the table.

besides.... anything will be better then this;

and now for BANE;

As soon as i heard Tom Hardy was in the movie, i was pumped (no pun intended). i almost didn't care who he played, because there really are a number of characters he can do; Hugo Strange, Black Mask, a young Harvey Bullock, but i didn't see Bane coming.

Bane is character that Nolan and co. can change almost entirely and it would no doubt be an improvement. He's a great character visually; a hulking demon wrestler with tubes connected to his skull that pump muscle altering bile throughout his system, but beyond the image and the gimmick he has little going for him. the Vengeance of Bane was very good, and early on he was a very menacing schemer, but eventually he became Doomsday with a vocabulary; a personality deficient lummox. it doesn't help matters that Bane was featured prominently in Joel Shumacher's neon hyrda enema known as Batman and Robin as Poison Ivy's fat vomit skinned radiator faced protector, grunting one word sentences that made Lou Ferrigno look like Carl Sagan.

So yeah, there really isn't anywhere to go but up. Maybe pull an Ivan Vanko from Iron Man 2 and make Bane more or less a composite of some other lesser-known rouges like Wrath, Night Scourge, Lock-Up, the KGBeast etc. and turn him into the Dark Knight's roided-out opposite number. perhaps make him a member of the League of Shadows... Talia's bodyguard?

whatever happens, i'm very much looking forward to the summer of 2011.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Fuck YOUR Life vol. the 13th part 586978090484: Jason Makes it Rain

Did Ricky Gervais go too far at the Golden Globes?

the fact that anyone cares about this is enough to enforce mandatory ritual suicide on a global level. yeah, i'm beside myself with appall because an insult comic took a bunch of smug over-privileged hyper-sensitive overpaid pampered buffys down a few pegs on a public forum that is itself little more than a cynical joke in the eyes of those it rewards. how will they ever recover? oh right... with all the money they "earned" producing unwatchable garbage that serves no purpose beyond reminding everyday people that their lives are shit and the only joy they can obtain is by watching beautiful millionaires play make believe.

look i love films and tv shows and etc., and i appreciate and respect the talents of those involved, but jesus, its not like he's mocking children with cancer or flood victims or something... he's calling out TOM CRUISE and JOHN TRAVOLTA for being SECRET GAYS. He made fun of the Tourist; a near-universally panned box office flop that relied solely on the on-the-decline sex appeal of its two main stars rather then being something interesting. He took a crack at Tim Allen, a man who spent ten years making ape noises on a Disney-owned sitcom, who now sits around and waits for sequels of Toy Story and the Santa Clause to happen while he collects residual checks from Nick at Nite for his awful TV show. my god how dare Gervais commit such atrocities.

get over yourselves.... through self-murder.

Friday, January 14, 2011

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 177

exclusive pics: “THE THEATRE BIZARRE”

Karim (SUBCONSCIOUS CRUELTY) Hussain’s VISION STAINS (second four photos), in which an “image junkie” extracts fluid from the eyeballs of the dying as their lives flash before their eyes, in order to inject it into her own peepers to experience those visions.

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Not that I'm Bitter or Anything vol. 10

fuck you for reading this. guess that means me. whoopty shit. didn't do a "Fuck My Year" post because it doesn't matter. bad shit happens. good shit happens. that's all. nevermind.

acquaintance from high school passed away last week. lung infection i think. shit way to go. i wasn't terribly moved... haven't spoken in a decade, and while relatively harmless, he was a compulsive liar, and that fact led to my disbelief of his death, so when i found out it was the truth, i was just pissed off that he made a life out of telling stories and presenting them as fact, so much so that i couldn't help but doubt his passing away. it makes me heartless i know... don't care. what does it matter if i feel nothing for someone i hardly ever knew and who hardly ever knew me? i'd expect the very same from him, but i wouldn't get it because he was a compulsive liar.

deleted my OKC(st)upid profile. i'll never meet anyone. everyone got the head start. the good ones all got snatched. fuck it. who needs actual sex-on-demand when i've got Lauren Phoenix torrenting and Mellisa Auf Der Maur singing french in a bathtub? guess i win again, ladies.

Conservatives: your girlfriend is a fucking idiot. "Blood Libel"? for serious? on the plus it at least reminds me to listen to the sick-ass ANTAEUS album of the same name. the perfect blend of creepy dissonance and murder-the-earth anger necessary to play black metal. few come close. most are just fake wizards with pirate riffs and cats in blenders.

speaking of; going to a black metal show for my birthday. shopping for Pornographic comic books the following day. so hard to find decent non-manga porn comics. Eros Comix is still pretty decent methinks. wish i could draw.

Watched THE CAPE on NBC. what soul eroding dreck this choadchore was. an insultingly terrible anal cloud of cock warts. don't feel like getting into everything that's wrong with this rectum clay pot, because EVERYTHING IS WRONG with this ingrown testicle ulcer. the main villain Chess' Cat Eyes (get it? cause... cat's.....are chess... but their eyes.... chess!) made me think of this. the lame super-heroes i made up when i was ten had more going on then this. comics and television haven't been this dumb for a long time, so you can't make that excuse anymore. wish i knew an artist so i could do my comic deal. but everyone i come in contact with is an unmotivated sadsack MyFace junkie. i'm the company i keep i suppose.

01/13/11 ADDENDUMB;

Guess what happened to me yesterday? i went ahead and finished my first screenplay. started working on it October of 2007. a shade under a half-a-decade. whoopee. I had the pieces right in front of me and didn't realize it... those pieces being 2 shorter scripts that acted as a spin-off to my then-unfinished big script. well i just decided it'd be more prudent to have one giant piece of shit that no one will ever shoot rather than 3 tiny methane scented rectum nuggets that no one will ever shoot. whatever. it's done. also wrote a short story about a guy with hypnagogic hallucinations living with a girl who plays with dead stuff. i started it last year, the bulk of it written longhand, and finished it last night. hooray more garbage no one wants.

i know what you're thinking; SELF PUBLISH. Howbout NO? that thing is a fucking racket. maybe it was ok 6-7 years ago when it was still relatively inexpensive, but now it's like $800 to get the middle of the road package and a hair above $1000 for the best they got. then i have to sell the product myself, cause they do no promotion beyond maybe creating a page on or Barnes and Noble's website. everything else is on you. it's a brand new way to fuck writers out of a paycheck. don't understand the aversion people have to paying writers, like it's not real work, but it's something that's been around forever. More people in this world are uncreative then creative, so a lot of it boils down to a mix of jealousy, cynicism, malice, and ignorance. they only understand and desire money, and if they get it who cares who gets fucked, cause if "they were really smart they'd be wealthy". it's the same all over, across the generations. if i could do anything else i would, but this is a compulsion. it has to be done or else i'll eat out the base of my skull. i've made my peace with that.... but not really.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011


concept art for the Red Skull as he'll appear in the upcoming Captain America film, complete with H.Y.D.R.A. emblem and the Cosmic Cube.

totally makes up for sitting through the Cape last night.

01/14/11 ADD;

thumbs up from me.

Sunday, January 9, 2011

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 53

whoopsie doodle.



"When you look at unbalanced people, how they respond to the vitriol that comes out of certain mouths about tearing down the government. The anger, the hatred, the bigotry that goes on in this country is getting to be outrageous. And, unfortunately, Arizona I think has become sort of the capital. We have become the Mecca for prejudice and bigotry... It's not unusual for all public officials to get threats constantly, myself included. And that's the sad thing of what's going on in America. Pretty soon, we're not going to be able to find reasonable, decent people who are willing to subject themselves to serve in public office... Let me just say one thing, because people tend to poo-poo this business about all the vitriol that we hear inflaming the American public by people who make a living off of doing that. That may be free speech. But it's not without consequences."

-- Pima County Sheriff Clarence Dupnik

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 176


by Ben Umstead, January 7, 2011 6:10 PM

Back in September we reported on a low budget sci-fi flick called ZENITH. The trailer enticed with its dystopian dissonance and techno-conspiracy who-dun-nit motifs. At the end of the trailer a vague tag: " Fall 2010. In Select Theaters."

Well now we've got some theatrical play dates for the United States. "Grass roots" week long runs start in New York City on the 19th. See all dates below, and if you're not in one of the urban centers you can catch it on cable VOD services from February 1st - March 31st and on Netflix starting February 22nd. Is it kind of interesting for a science fiction film to take full advantage of essentially all release formats in a very small window? Sure, it is the wave of the future. As for the arthouse BLADE RUNNER reference? The full quote from Flavowire:

A post-apocalyptic, paranoid, Baroque fantasy... a visually stunning art-house Blade Runner.

Ye ol' plot synopsis follows:

Zenith is a retro-futuristic steam-punk thriller, about two men in two time periods, whose search for the same grand conspiracy leads them to question their own humanity.

Starting from a fictional recreation of Stanley Milgram's Obedience to Authority experiment, Zenith plunges into exploring multifaceted dimensions of the human experience. The film follows two parallel stories - of father and son - now, and 40 years into the future. Searching for the same elusive conspiracy, both father and son find no answers; instead, their journeys unravel their lives and force them to look deep and hard at themselves and their surroundings. In the end, they are both confronted with the same Faustian bargain - but each one chooses a very different path.

Zenith Theatrical trailer from Surla Films on Vimeo.

Friday, January 7, 2011

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 175

Surreal, Haunting Trailer For Gustavo Franco's CORPSE PUSHER

by Todd Brown, January 7, 2011 12:34 PM

Though it exists only in trailer form so far Gustavo Franco's Corpse Pusher is surely a unique, compelling bit of work. Created as part of a low budget educational initiative to give aspiring film makers a taste of the film making process it looks as though they've found an interesting talent with Franco. What has he cooked up? Think Lost Highway blended with Kwaidan and run through a grindhouse filter. Check it below.

Corpse Pusher Trailer from Brian Garvey on Vimeo.

Saturday, January 1, 2011

Double You, Tea F. vol. 1(20)11


In the beginning, before the Shogun were dominating Japan, the Overlords were dominating women with Fierce Intensity during sexual intercourse. This intensity was spoken under cover for years among women who craved multiple orgasms, men with endurance of machine and an Iron Beam between their legs.

The Overlords had discovered the seceret of Fierce Intensity and kept this to themselves for years as they fulfilled the carnal desires of all the local women. They knew if this secret was ever discovered, all men would be created equal. They entrusted this formula to a young powerful Overlord…Stree.

Stree was a tiger of a man with a body built in the Gods image. Women melted when they saw him in the streets. Stree had a reputation with the ladies as they all knew he possessed the sexual secret of the Overlords. Once he dominated a woman in the bedroom, she morphed into a crazy woman, craving ever more of his sexual steel. The stamina of a horse and the endurance of a machine kept Stree a favorite among the wives of other men.

Eventually, the men who couldn’t keep their women happy, grew enraged with Stree. His Overlord secret was no longer safe. Stree fled his homeland and traveled South to new lands, safer lands. Unfortunately, this was not the case, as his reputation had preceded him as woman all over Japan craved his Fierce Intensity!

And in the night, they attacked!!!

Stree fought like a Warrior as he was outnumber by the men who couldn’t compare their sexual power to the Overlord Fierce Intensity. Before he was attacked, Stree knew he may not survive this onslaught forthcoming. In haste, he scribed the Overlord secret of Fierce Intensity onto a scroll with the following phrase:

Heart of a Lion, Power of a Dragon, Extension of Steel
Man Alone cannot burn a fire this extreme. Use wisely and
With great caution, women crave Fierce Intensity.

For centuries the scroll of Stree Overlord had been lost since the night of Stree’s death until Ho Jun Kim found the scroll in the attic his house in present day, Southern Japan.

Sometimes destiny wins!!!

Ho Jun was a pharmacist and a very successful businessman. In a flurry of curiousity, Ho Jun replicated the Fierce Intensity once controlled by the Overlords of Northern Japan. Within 20 minutes time, Ho Jun Kim could feel the power of the Overlord Fierce Intensity. Immediately, he knew there was a way he could help all men please they’re women. Ho Jun sold the formula to the Mayo Kaisha Pharmacy with one stipulation, they call their new product…Stree Overlord; in memoriam to the protector.