Tuesday, December 30, 2014

It's a Funny World We Live In vol. 71

Man gets 5 years for keeping 4 sons in filthy home

 An emergency room doctor suspected abuse when the youngest was taken to the hospital for a cut on his forehead. The doctor noticed that the boy was unwashed, reeked of cigarette smoke and had bruises consistent with pinching. That led authorities to the apartment, where authorities said all the surfaces were covered with flies and that about an inch of solidified cat feces covered with urine lay beneath one of the boy's beds.
Prosecutors said it was one of their most horrific cases, but Colorado's child abuse laws kept them from pursuing harsher penalties because the children didn't suffer serious physical injuries.
After the boys were rescued and given bagged lunches to eat, they acted as if they hadn't seen food before, patting the sandwiches and playing with the apples, a detective testified during Bailey's sentencing hearing. An adult mimed eating an apple to encourage them to eat; they licked the fruit instead.


Sunday, December 7, 2014

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 217: Top DVDs of 2014

No Netflix.
No Mercy.

CHEAP THRILLS

Laugh. You're bleeding.

FOUND

coming of age in the grey market.

JODOROWSKY'S DUNE

cancel all the blockbusters and use the money to make this happen for real.

MOEBIUS

if i had a heart, Kim Ki Duk would be after it.

NOTHING BAD CAN HAPPEN

Martyrs minus the extreme gore with no less transcendental suffering.

NYMPHOMANIAC

it's like 50 Shades of Grey for people who have actually had sex.

PROXY
deliberate script collapse makes me happy.

THE RAID 2

they should keep making Expendables movies cause everytime they do a new Raid movie can come out to show them who they daddy is.


SEPTIC MAN

Samuel Becket's Toxic Avenger. 

THANATOMORPHOSE
don't go chasing waterfalls. they'll give you rot-disease.

 







Wednesday, November 5, 2014

It's a Funny World We Live In vol. SIXTY-NIIINE, DUDES *air guitar*

"Check the news for Port Orchard Washington in a few hours, Her son will be home from school soon. He'll find her, then call the cops. I just wanted to share the pics before they find me. I bought a BB gun that looks realistic enough. When they come, I'll pull it and it will be suicide by cop. I understand the doubts. Just check the fucking news. I have to lose my phone now."


Why Did Photos of a Strangled Woman Appear on 4Chan Before Her Body Was Found?

 11/6 update: 

The Guy Who Allegedly Posted Pictures of His Strangled Girlfriend on 4chan Has Been Arrested

Monday, October 27, 2014

It's a Funny World We Live In vol. 67

“I thought my dog had killed somebody because I saw a man underneath her,” Woodruff explained to WTNH. “I started to scream. I had a citronella candle and I threw it at him, screaming ‘get off my dog, you have to get out of here.’ He said, ‘No, today is the day we are going to spend the rest of our lives together.’”

Naked Man Accused Of Raping Pit Bull In Neighbor’s Yard, Says ISIS Sent Him

Tuesday, October 7, 2014

It's a Funny World We Live In vol. 65

Report: '7th Heaven' star Stephen Collins admits to molestation

 

HEAR IT: ‘7th Heaven’ pastor-dad Stephen Collins admits to molesting underage girl, exposing himself to 2 others: report

The NYPD’s Special Victims Unit is investigating allegations that the actor — who played the Rev. Eric Camden on the long-running family show — sexually abused two of his young victims in Manhattan, a source said.


Monday, September 22, 2014

NERRRRRRRRRD!!! vol. 45

"I have slowly come realize that in this selfie-obsessed, Instagram Era, COSPLAY is the new focus of these conventions"

The Hidden TRUTH About Comic Book Convention Earnings: For Creators, Have Comic Book Conventions JUMPED THE SHARK?

Sunday, September 14, 2014

It's a Funny World We Live In vol. 64

Man arrested for feeding girlfriend her own dog

Police: Suspect sent her text messages asking 'how dog tasted?'

Sunday, July 20, 2014

We are the Sprocket Holes vol. 216

from Richard Stanley: "Return to the Island of Doctor Moreau - wih David Gregory's feature length documentary on the dark and scandalous circumstances surrounding the doomed 1996 remake, 'LOST SOUL', set to premiere at next month's Fright Fest and a new comic book series ('THE WORLD OF DOCTOR MOREAU') and feature film production based on my original screenplay from the early nineties currently in the works it seems nothing can keep the good doctor down. The House of Pain shall rise again! Keep watching this space for further developments... the photo shows Barbara Steele's character- Moreau's ex-wife Dr Mengels (last seen in Joe Dante's 'PIRANHA') posing with one of Moreau's first test subjects - Prima, the talking, chain smoking orangutan in one of the few scenes to be completed before the original project's demise. Now, at last, the true story can be told..."
LOST SOUL: The Doomed Journey of Richard Stanley's Island of Dr. Moreau

Sunday, June 29, 2014

We Are the Sprocket BOOMS vol. 215


TRANS4MERS: AGE OF BROSTINCTION : a perception based review;


Before anyone born was born, ornately detailed robot giants from space decided to wipe out the dinosaurs cause BOOMS. Flash-forward to whatever year this is; villains played by respectable character actors (hired to put forth the illusion of prestige ie John Malkovich in Con-Air) are hunting and killing these other robot giants from space so they can use the parts to make robot giants not from space. 



Enter Mahck Whahlberg. He’s some kind of mechanic who is also a farmer (excuse me; Fahmuh). Also he has a vessel-for-the-director’s-perverted-fixations (called “daughter” in the “script”). Mahcky Mahck finds a huge truck with totally wicked sweet flames painted on it. he fiddles around with tools (or farming equipment) and comes to the conclusion that “WE JUST FOWND A TRANSFORMAH. HEY TRANSFORMAH. I LIKE HOW YOU TRANSFORM. I’M ALSO A FAHMUH. A TRANSFAHMUH. BUT NO HOMO” (translated from Crayon). 


Anygay, the evil slumming-it players finds Boogie Nights and says they murder rape the fetish vessel if they don’t give up the Truckformer. This is answered with SWOOSH BOOMS to escape. Along the way we encounter some racist stereotypes (probably asian), a callback to a better movie (hint: “Calmer Than You Are), and Final Boss Robot who wants to destroy robots or humans or turn humans into robots or turn robots into humans… whatever… he’s got a city sized space cannon that makes BOOMS. 









After roughly 83 minutes of combat and bass drops, Optimus Priz-Ime remembers “oh wait, I know of these huge dino-mech things living in the earth since forever. I’ll go get them”, and the audience is all like “why didn’t you ride this fire-breathing Cyber-Dragon into battle EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU HAD A BATTLE. YOU COULD’VE SAVED COUNTLESS LIVES AND SPARED US 3 MORE MOVIES OF THE SAME BULLSHIT. THANKS OBAMA”. 


So anyway, Dino-Bots… the shit you came to see… the cornerstone of the film’s marketing… yeah they show up with roughly 15 minutes left in the film’s near 3hr running time. FIRE ROAR BOOMS, robot faces being ripped from their robot faces (Optimus Prime is a fucking serial killer, by the way), montage of spray tans and the military, empty headed platitude that offers a vague promise of more bullshit to come, Linkin Park song, post credit bullshit, trip to toy store/car dealership. 



We are dead inside, and this is the necrophilia.

Tuesday, June 17, 2014

Saturday, June 14, 2014

Awwww Yeah vol. 28

Karen DeCrow shouts to a crowd during a 1975 NOW parade in Philadelphia. (Bill Ingraham/Associated Press) 
 
 

The Feminist Leader Who Became a Men's-Rights Activist

Karen DeCrow served as president of the National Organization for Women, but she often broke with feminist orthodoxy. 
 
 In a 1994 interview, she lamented that “in the battle between the sexes, men and women will go practically to the end of the earth in illogical, irrational ways to give each other pain.” It’s telling that DeCrow saw such behavior as mutual; she was also sympathetic to the controversial argument that domestic violence is a two-way street. In the 1970s, she had fought sexist rape laws that allowed victims to be questioned about their chastity; in the early 1990s, she applauded Katie Roiphe’s critique of “rape-crisis feminism,” The Morning After, as a courageous challenge to a “new puritanism” that depicted women as perpetual victims of male predation. Recalling the bad old days when girls were taught to deny both their brains and their sexuality, DeCrow was tangibly impatient with the idea that “being whistled at, or even slurped at” amounted to “oppression.”

Sunday, June 8, 2014

It's a Funny World We Live In vol. 58


DR Congo’s soldiers reveal astonishing stories


The commander gives an order. "Go and rape women," he says. The soldiers obey.

"It's true that we raped here. We found women because they can't escape. You see her, you catch her, you take her away and you have your way with her," says one soldier later. "Sometimes you kill her. When you finish raping then you kill her child. When we rape, we feel free."

Saturday, May 24, 2014

It's a Funny World We Live In vol. 55

The Disturbing Internet Footprint Of Santa Barbara Shooter Elliot Rodger


"Hi, Elliot Rodger here. Well, this is my last video. It all has to come to this. Tomorrow is the day of retribution, the day I will have my revenge against humanity, against all of you. 
"For the last eight years of my life, since I hit puberty, I've been forced to endure an existence of loneliness, rejection and unfulfilled desires, all because girls have never been attracted to me. Girls gave their affection and sex and love to other men, never to me. 
"I'm 22 years old and still a virgin, never even kissed a girl. And through college, 2 1/2 years, more than that actually, I'm still a virgin. It has been very torturous. 
"College is the time when everyone experiences those things such as sex and fun and pleasure. In those years I've had to rot in loneliness, it's not fair. You forced me to suffer all my life, now I will make you all suffer. I waited a long time for this. 
"You girls have never been attracted to me. I don't know why you girls aren't attracted to me but I will punish you all for it. It's an injustice, a crime because I don't know what you don't see in me, I'm the perfect guy and yet you throw yourselves at all these obnoxious men instead of me, the supreme gentleman. I will punish all of you for it. [laughs] 
"On the day of retribution, I am going to enter the hottest sorority house at UCSB and I will slaughter every single spoiled, stuck-up, blond slut I see inside there. All those girls I've desired so much. They have all rejected me and looked down on me as an inferior man if I ever made a sexual advance toward them, while they throw themselves at these obnoxious brutes. 
"I take great pleasure in slaughtering all of you., You will finally see that I am, in truth, the superior one, the true alpha male. [laughs] Yes, after I have annihilated every single girl in the sorority house, I'll take to the streets of Isla Vista and slay every single person I see there. All those popular kids who live such lives of hedonistic pleasure while I've had to rot in loneliness all these years. They all look down upon me every time I tried to join them, they've all treated me like a mouse. 
 "Well, now I will be a god compared to you, you will all be animals, you are animals and I will slaughter you like animals. I'll be a god exacting my retribution on all those who deserve it and you do deserve it just for the crime of living a better life than me. 
"The popular kids, you never accepted me and now you will all pay for it. Girls, all I ever wanted was to love you, be loved by you. I wanted a girlfriend. I wanted sex, love, affection, adoration. 
 "You think I'm unworthy of you. That's I crime I can never get over. If I can't have you girls, I will destroy you. [laughs] You denied me a happy life and in turn I will deny all of you life, it's only fair. I hate all of you. 
 "Humanity is a disgusting, wretched, depraved species. If I had it in my power I would stop at nothing to reduce every single one of you to mountains of skulls and rivers of blood and rightfully so. You deserve to be annihilated and I will give that to you. You never showed me any mercy so I will show you none. [laughs] 
 "You forced me to suffer all my life, now I will make you all suffer. I waited a long time for this. I'll give you exactly what you deserve, all of you. All you girls who rejected me, looked down upon me, you know, treated me like scum while you gave yourselves to other men. And all of you men for living a better life than me, all of you sexually active men. I hate you. I hate all of you. I can't wait to give you exactly what you deserve, annihilation."

PRISONER IN A WORLD-SIZE JAIL

Tuesday, May 20, 2014

Friday, May 16, 2014

NERRRRRRRRRRD!!!! vol. 44


You're gonna hate the new GODZILLA because you're the one with a problem.

Gareth Edwards Godzilla has haunting imagery, nightmarish atmosphere, bad-ass monsters, a tightly structured script that is not overwrought or pretentious,... pretty much all that you could ask for with this kind of film. It's a much welcome respite from the too-ambitious-to-be-coherent-let-alone-competent failings that infect many a contemporary blockbuster. it's not a committee think-tank project designed to sell happy meals or video games, nor does it fall victim to the modern super-hero movie formula of cluttering the film with easter eggs and cameos, turning it into an extended trailer for sequels and spin-offs featuring the rest of the Toho menagerie. it's just a fucking good ass movie, no more no less, and that's enough.  

seems like the people that are shitting all over it are mad that they didn't get Pacific Rim 2, which makes me smile cause that's pretty fucking dumb. i loved PR, but that was a live action Inhumanoids; a good vs. evil cartoon on a gorgeously massive scale. Godzilla '14 has more of a classic horror/monster movie vibe in its storytelling ala Jaws, where the movie is a build up to the big reveal of the creature(s). it's closer in spirit and structure to Gojira, the original Japanese cut of the first film, where the beast may not get the bulk of the screen time, but its presence is ingrained into the entirety of the film's atmosphere, imbuing the narrative with tension and dread, showcasing the patience necessary to make the reveal of the monster all the more valuable. It's knowledgeable about what is best about films like Gojira, Rodan, War of the Gargantuas, and all the very strongest offerings in that particular genre. they are all the anxieties and fears we have about mass destruction, be it nuclear bombs or natural disasters, in corporeal form. Edwards film showcases a tremendous understanding of the fact that these films are at their most compelling when they aren't just 2 hour monster fights, that it's the lead up to the fight that makes it important rather than the fight itself.

and if i never again hear somebody picking apart the "character development" in spectacle-driven blockbusters it'll be too soon. stop pretending you went to film school already.

ONE COMPLAINT THOUGH;

.... reallllllly needed to hear this at least once; 

Friday, May 9, 2014

U.S.A.! U.S.A.! vol. 72

Family's distress after Marine documented his suicide in series of grisly pictures on Facebook… and the social networking site refused to take them down


Thursday, April 24, 2014

It's a Funny Wolrd We Live In vo. 51

A word about bronies. (Massive Content notice for threat of sexual assault, child sexual assault, attempted child abduction, and bullshit from later commentators.)

 

My point here: this is why I fucking hate “bronies.” Because grown-ass men are flooding into a space carved out for children—often little girls—and are making it unsafe for them.
I met a lot of non-awful people there, of course. I met a lot of parents and older siblings. A lot of adorable little boys who were happy to empathize with female characters, and a lot of little kids who wanted a picture with cosplays of their favorite pony. I met a lot of people who were cool and nice and just liked cartoons. I met a male Pinkie Pie cosplayer with a Fluttershy lady-friend who juggled and spun plates and was happy to entertain kids, and were generally just really cool people.
But I also met a lot of skeevy dudebros. A lot of guys in fedoras loudly discussing sexual shit in a room with children. Guys who drew/sold/displayed really fucking inappropriate “fanart,” including gross bodypillows that had no purpose in a little kids’ toy convention. I met a guy who gushed with absolute glee about the pleasure he derives from “corrupting innocence.” I met a lot of people who wanted to take something sweet and nice for children and make it about THEM. A lot of guys who wanted to make it about their dicks. People who made it UNSAFE for the intended audience to even be in attendance.

Friday, April 18, 2014

Monday, April 14, 2014

It's A Funny World We Live In vol. 49

Police find seven dead babies in Utah County home
Mugshot of Megan Huntsman, who was booked into the Utah County jail on suspicion of killing six of her newborn children over the past decade.

It's a Funny World We Live In vol. 48

Homeless People Are Reportedly Living Inside The Manhattan Bridge


Friday, March 28, 2014

Fuck YOUR Life vol. 24

Selfies Linked to Narcissism, Addiction and Mental Illness

 A British male teenager tried to commit suicide after he failed to take the perfect selfie. Danny Bowman became so obsessed with capturing the perfect shot that he spent 10 hours a day taking up to 200 selfies. The 19-year-old lost nearly 30 pounds, dropped out of school and did not leave the house for six months in his quest to get the right picture. He would take 10 pictures immediately after waking up. Frustrated at his attempts to take the one image he wanted, Bowman eventually tried to take his own life by overdosing, but was saved by his mom.


Monday, March 24, 2014